Fashion Stinks

Factory Girls

2008-10-09T23:53:00.011+01:00

Hey, just got back from 'A Night with Andy Warhol's Superstars: Holly Woodlawn,Mary Woronov and Bibbe Hansen' at the Hayward. It was amazing!

Crazy women (well, one dressed like a man, and one man dressed as a woman) providing crazy insights into crazy times at the Factory - the drugs, the glamour, the music, the art, and the enigmatic Warhol.

They certainly didn't disappoint! I liked how they all wore black shades throughout the session, even though they must be over 60! Totally hip, man! My favourite moments were when Holly dropped her microphone stand so just boomed her love of pharmaceuticals (and odd noises) into it instead, Mary's outburst against Bob Dylan, and when Bibbe described how she met Warhol as a 14 year old after getting bailed from jail!

It made me want to wear my black turtleneck and black chelsea boots tomorrow. Such fascinating people with so many cool stories to share. It was far out!

Dinky delights

2008-10-08T22:40:00.008+01:00

Just got back from the Museum of Childhood's Top to Toe exhibition opening - it was a real treat. So much mini style inspiration! I spotted some red Mickey Mouse braces that I wore with pride as a child. Oh yes!

Thankfully no Pippa Dee was on display (does anyone remember the evil 80's reign of Pippa Dee? A whole generation in style therapy as a result). Check out children's crimes against fashion in What I Wore. I'm afraid I won't be loading up my Pippa Dee pics though!

Ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space

2008-10-07T23:35:00.011+01:00

I LOVE space age style. In my teens I spent many an evening watching episodes of U.F.O. with a bottle of vodka, some tin foil and an old broken burgalar alarm. Perhaps I’ve said too much…

Err, anyway, if you’re like me and enjoy all the futuristic simplicity of 60s design then I heartily recommend you whizz over to South Kensington and catch Cold War Modern at the V&A. It’s a real treat. If only you could try the clothes on though! Actually thinking about it you might need a futuristic diet of pills instead of meals to look good in some of the crazy Pierre Cardin chain mail creations. The future's bright gang!

Keen as Mustard

2008-10-07T22:48:00.003+01:00

What-o chaps!

Just got back from a little shin-dig at the Saatchi Gallery. It was sadly lacking in any style inspiration. Too sloaney for words, with a touch of Euro-trash here and there. Shocking.

However, I did spot a nifty little mustard shift dress that was such a perfect fit on the gamine girl wearing it - it was either hideously expensive or a great vintage find.

Other style hot spots were:

a mysterious man wearing a floor length cape with a silver hood (which he kept on despite the sweltering heat - got to admire him for the effort)
Lilly Allen wearing silly platform shoes the size of loaves of bread
a lady dressed as Robin Hood, complete with a green felt hat and feather.

With all this excellent people watching I didn't even notice the art...

Tweedy Pie?

2008-10-06T22:32:00.006+01:00

Ballyhoo old bean! - what's your take on the English country look that seems to be everywhere at the moment?

Tweeds, headscarf, sloaney boots, twin set...

I love the Mitford Sisters but if I dressed like this I'd feel like the sturdy Mitford sister Pam rather than the glamorous Debo!

I think I'll leave the tweed to the aristos...

It's all about the Quality Street

2008-01-21T22:40:00.000Z

Moving away from black on black was a dramatic step, but I think it was the right direction - now it's all about every conceivable colour clash - red on yellow, blue on purple, red on blue - and these colours are not subtle they are bold and in blocks. Think Lego people wearing Quality Street wrappers and you have the current look in a nutshell! Now who's for a penny toffee?

Don't take it to the max...

2007-05-20T23:10:00.000+01:00

I'm hating the maxi-dress look - it's just wrong...
If you find yourself tempted then remember this pic that epitomises everything that is wrong with this look... you are basically wearing a floral patterned sack. Not flattering...

Good to glo...

2007-05-20T22:38:00.000+01:00

Well guys, this week your intrepid style reporter went along to a Klaxons gig and immersed myself in the phenomeon known as 'neu rave'. As an observer, the only way to fit in with the neu rave crowd involves:

1. wearing something neon - I spotted skinny neon jeans, neon shoes, even a neon kagoule

2. pretending to be 'luvved up' - this might involve a spontaeous konga through the crowd and of course, lots of hugging

3. waving glo-sticks, glo bangles and necklaces

Everyone was loving it - from a girl wearing glow-in-the-dark bunny ears at the front through to a group of men (pushing 40 and old enough to know better) mincing about at the back, proudly wearing neon feather boas, big hair, glitter and neon facepaint, as if glam rock was back. Bizarrely amid this neon cacophony, the Klaxons just sounded like a regular indie band, so there was really no need for me to get my whistle out...

A look that will NEVER catch on...

2007-04-23T22:37:00.000+01:00

Let's go through this look step-by-step:

We've got the pointy 'Mr Tumness of Narnia' style beard.

Then we've got the crusty knapsack - who know what outfits are contained in that - a sugarplum fairy costume perhaps?

Oh, and to complete the look we've got the wacky pantomine cut off trousers.

Even Captain Hook would agree it's all too much!

Watch the birdie...

2007-04-16T22:03:00.000+01:00

One look that I am loving this spring is the nature-inspired jewellery that seems to be everywhere from Liberty to Miss Selfridge.

Birds in particular seem to pop up everywhere, which appeals to the 'twitcher' in me.

I'm loving Alex Monroe's latest collection featuring hummingbirds. Get those binoculars out and get twitching guys!

The Primark Scrum

2007-04-15T23:14:00.000+01:00

I went along to grand opening on the Primark flagship store on Oxford Street. It was scary... with queues around the block and, once inside, aggressive shoppers on the rampage for bargains.

I found myself in a frenzy picking up numerous £10 summer dresses. This was the test for a true shopper where, not only have you got to be quick, you've also got to 'hawk-eye' the clothes other people have picked-up, just to double check you haven't missed anything. Think 'the quick and the dead' spaghetti-western style, with people eyeing up each other at ten paces. Nasty!

I started to flag after an hour and looked at the goodies clutched in my sweaty palms (and believe-me, it was an expert haul), only to realise that I didn't really really like any of it that much, well, not enough to face the mammoth queues at the till. My advice - take a bottle of Lucozade and an assertiveness class before you go - you'll need it!

Skinny v. baggy...

2007-04-01T15:28:00.000+01:00

Hmmmm... what's a girl to do?
I've grown attached to my skinnies but baggy seems the way forward. I feel slightly schizophrenic, trying to be a drain-piped cast-off from the 60s beat generation one minute, then bell-bottomed hippy the next... HELP!

2007-03-27T21:52:00.000+01:00

Well, it had to happen sooner or later. Kate Moss has burst her own bubble, not through hanging about with crackheads or being photographed in a compromising situation, but by simply opening her mouth... oh dear.
Kate speaks in the latest Topshop podcast, as part of the hyped-up drive to convince us that this Moss-branded collection is more than the run-of-the-mill Topshop range it is.
It seems like Kate just strolls in, tries some stuff on, says 'yeah, love it, it's gorge' and then swaggers off. And WHO edited that podcast to include the excruciating 'mocasin' moment?
Check it out here: www.topshoppodcast.com

shmock-tactics

2007-03-07T20:42:00.000Z

There are smocks gallore on the high street, but I've tried a few on and found the smock look is difficult to pull off without looking like Mama Cass. Anyone got any solutions??

No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no no more neon!

2007-03-05T22:07:00.000Z

I must admit I felt slightly ridiculous dancing to the Prodigy with lots of sweaty 17 year olds the other night.
Let's face facts - the so-called 'new rave' trend is creeping onto the High Street. Speaking as someone who remembers rave the first time round, I didn't blow whistles, wave glo-sticks, or wear t-shirts emblazoned with acid smiley faces. I seem to remember I wore a sensible M&S jumper to clubs in my youth, but that's another story.
The neon hues of 'New Rave' are inescapable so we might as well deal with it. I think the only way of adopting the rave look is with controlled neon use. No luminous pink slogan t-shirts for me. I think I'll be opting for a slick of bright pink lipstick, or perhaps a flash of bright cut-off tights?
Do you dare to day-glo? Techno techno techno techno...

Nico chic...

2006-07-24T21:45:00.000+01:00

Brigette Bardot's had her day as a style icon. Nico is my new style-muse. Think sleek hair, perfect eyeliner and effortless-looking monocrome. None of this rough and tumble stuff... get moody guys.

Bronze Age Accessories???

2006-06-28T15:54:00.000+01:00

What is clearly intended to be a bold statement jewellery piece looks like someone's been pillaging from the Sutton Hoo burial site. It's the size of a Frey Bentos pie tin lid. Wrong!

Capes - updated...

2006-06-13T17:56:00.000+01:00

Further evidence that capes are here to stay... Kate Moss and random mental guy from ATP!!

Ra! Ra! Rasputin!

2006-06-05T13:40:00.000+01:00

Hey comrades!

I'm going to a Russian-themed party so I need to come up with some ideas for an outfit..
Babooshka?
Rasputin (Russia's greatest love machine)?
Peter the Great?
Lenin and his big ginger beard?

Get thinking chaps! xx

What a caper!!

2006-05-30T21:58:00.000+01:00

I know capes are wrong, but they are cropping up everywhere! The druid on a day-trip look might be acceptable, but the superhero look is never right....
So are capes a feature in A/W 2006?

Crazy Florals! Wah! Wah!*

2006-05-30T21:40:00.000+01:00

Just when we were all getting a little bit bored with this Summer's white revival, the high street has exploded with crazy floral prints! Yippee!

I rejected this look until I found the right print and style for me. My print is psychedelic - think Liberty on acid - in a '20s tea dress shape. I'm not feeling brave enough to wear it yet, because it is quite bright, but watch this space.

Top Shop do a great Celia Birtwell revival range featuring her original '60s designs. If you need a bit of inspiration why not head to the V&A to check out the new '60s fashion and graphics displays? I'm going this weekend, so will let you know what it's like.

Let me know if you too have entered the crazy world of floral patterns...

* ref: The Osmonds

Kooky or Spooky? - Post-ATP style analysis.

2006-05-22T17:44:00.000+01:00

Hey chaps!
Just got back from All Tomorrow's Parties - phew!
Most people were try-hard kooksters with greasy hair and ill-fitting cardigans/pack-a-macs, but some looks that stood out from the ATP pack were:

*1) Red skinny jeans and white t-shirt on a pencil thin man. He looked like he was sponsored by coca-cola so thumbs down for that effort.
*2) Girl wearing a teddy bear head hat that made her look like she had ears. I don't know where to begin on this one...
*3) Girl wearing a crazy culotte jump suit with one trouser leg rolled up to the thigh to reveal plum coloured opaque tights, accessorised with a seaside bucket as a handbag. So hip it hurts or just plain mental?
*4) A boy with a pudding-bowl haircut wearing heavy eye make-up and the biggest billowy sleeved white shirt you've ever seen (eat your heart out Meatloaf).
*5) A man wearing a super-hero cape and 70s-style gym shorts (photo to be added shortly to prove this wasn't a figment of my imagination).
*6) Bonus points went to Anton from The Brian Jonestown Massacre for having a mystery-themed outfit on stage - a Sherlock Holmes deer-stalker hat, cape and pipe. I like it!

Would you any of you ATP guys like to add any other observations? This is just the tip of a very big style iceberg...

Waterproof folk-rock...

2006-05-16T13:06:00.000+01:00

Hey there blogsters!
I'm going to All Tomorrow's Parties this weekend and the weather forecast says it will rain. The naked dancing with flowers in my hair is OFF! Bah! How am I going to achieve a folk-rock look and keep warm and dry? Help!

Designer pop bottles - what?

2006-05-07T23:26:00.000+01:00

What's with all the fashion 'designer' re-styles of products like Cola bottles and sweetener dispensers? Hardly haute couture... get on with creating some inspiring new clothes styles rather than cashing in with the big corporations. Rant over....

The crochet challenge...

2006-05-07T23:13:00.000+01:00

This summer, white is the colour and white crochet is even hotter. Is anyone brave enough to rise to the challenge? I think only Twiggy could get away with it, but a touch of mecrame here and there would update the look.... hmmm - the jury's out.

BIG bad beads

2006-05-07T21:45:00.000+01:00

Beads just seem to be getting bigger and bigger this summer. i've spotted a really nice Marni-esque necklace in French Connection, which has weird 60s plastic shapes, but I'm still to be convinced by the big boulders around your neck look. What do you reckon guys...

Nautica-but-nice?

2006-05-03T21:47:00.000+01:00

I must admit I feel a bit lost at sea now that everyone is looking nautical nowadays. Last summer I got stick for looking like a born-again Christian because I don't swear and I wear stripy tops. Now even that dope Sienna Miller wants part of the action. We all know I can't do dots so what's left?

Hi-de-hi Campers!

2006-05-03T21:38:00.000+01:00

Summer time is almost here gang!
Dare I wear my stripey blue shirt that makes me look like a yellow coat? Looks like shorts are here to stay too. Surely only Ruth Maddock can pull that off? I'm off to have a big adventure at Camber Sands Pontins for ATP soon. What do you think campers - can Stinks pull it off?

Black Vans - hot or not?

2006-05-01T18:16:00.000+01:00

I heard a rumour that grunge is coming back and it's happening. A certain person I know bought some all-black Vans and I was unconvinced (I didn't even like them in the 90s). But I was forced to re-evaluate when he was complemented by a passing emo-goth boy. The future's gloomy...

Folk rocks

2006-05-01T18:12:00.000+01:00

Hey gang!
I want to get a folk look going on this summer - any ideas? I've spotted a nice psychedelic cheese-cloth top in SWear but I want to explore this look more with the aid of my trustee fashion-fiends... Get looking!

What's with all the dots?

2006-04-23T21:16:00.000+01:00

Is it just me, or has The Pipettes fashion taken over the high street? Whilst I'm all for looking sophisticated and lady-like, polka dots just look cheap and wrong. Who wants to look like they are wearing New Look 80s cast-offs? Or is that the whole point? Am I missing something here guys?

Are headbands silly?

2006-04-23T21:00:00.000+01:00

Whilst wearing my new chunky tortoiseshell hairband, I convince myself that I look like a cast-off from the beat generation (stripey top - check, back-combed-hair - check, black pumps - check, sulky expression - check) I'm afraid that the brutal reality is that I look like a four-year old Scooby-Doo gang wannabe...
Any thoughts guys?